Thursday, 20 July 2017

Friends With No Benefits!


I think something is catastrophically wrong with me. For I believe that we are old enough to live an unpretentious life at least when it comes to friends and colleagues. That finally, we have reached a stage where we know who is important to us and who doesn't belong to our "circle of friends". Of course that doesn't mean we have to ignore the existence of other kind hearted beings or not make an effort to make new friends. No, what I mean is we have earned the right to cut off people we don't like. But looks like I am wrong. Let me tell you why.

Every now and then I hear from people who want to know what I am doing. Basically they just need some gossip. How do I know that? They ask you to meet up, pick one of the most happening places, loud and overcrowded. Take selfies even before you catch up time to look at their face. Ask you a question, and when you are talking, seem so damn distracted that you decide to shut up. In fact the only time they give you their undivided attention is when you have some "juicy news". You see when I want to meet some real friends I prefer a quiet place where I can actually hear the other person, and almost always we are so engrossed in talking that we forget to take pictures (which I do like once in a while). But then again, that's not how things work most of the times.

Then there are some people who don't want to give an impression that they don't care about you.  They think it will offend you. So they keep trying to "stay-in touch". The conversation doesn't go beyond, "how are you"," we should meet up sometime". This can go on for years. Then they come up with excuses. I have as such no problem with excuses, I mean lets be honest we all do lie once in a while. But what absolutely annoys me is lame excuses! Always remember one thing, if someone cares for you they will take an effort to come up with at least a decent semi-convincing lie! Would you treat your family, spouse or business partners in the same way? Is it impossible to take sometime and have a proper conversation with someone you want as your "friend"? I don't think so. I think we are mature enough to deal with "drifting away phenomena". It's a term I use to describe the gradual process of people drifting away from each other intentionally or unintentionally due to circumstances. So if I don't have a place in your life, I am sure I can live with that fact.

Maybe I am just getting too old too soon, or maybe I just don't want to waste my time and energy on things that doesn't matter. Maybe I don't have a lot of friends, but I have enough to last a lifetime. Maybe I don't know a lot of people, but people who I do know, I know every small detail. I know what makes them sad or happy, I know what their favourite movie is or what they like to eat. I don't spend time with someone because I have to, I do it because I want to. I actually enjoy the company of every single every person I meet or stay in touch with.

I am not afraid to show that I can be rude sometimes, that I have my own flaws. But God knows hows I have found people who have loved me with all my weaknesses for who I am, and I am happy to share my life with them. So I maybe wrong but I genuinely hope more and more people will drop this facade of wanting to be "friends" but doing half-assed job about it. Friendship is a kind of relationship and like any other relationship it needs commitment and effort to sustain.

At the end of the day, life is all about choices you make. So get your priorities straight, decide your "circle" and make sure you give your hundred percent. It's OK if everyone doesn't like you or knows about you. It exhausting to even try doing that, and no matter what,  you are never going to succeed in pleasing every single person around you. So relax and give yourself a break. You don't have to keep everyone happy. The only person who needs to be happy is YOU.




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