Friday, 9 October 2015

Life After Marriage

Let me get this straight, I am not going to give any new insights on marriage or how to live your life after marriage. I am just going to share my experience (if 1 year counts) and what to expect in the least.

To begin with you would find tons of people telling you how your life is going to change completely. That your good old carefree days are over. Basically a whole list of good/fun things over. How you will have to be responsible and mature and lot of other "grown-up" talks, which will drive any sane person to anxiety attack!

For those of you, who have never shared your room it will be little difficult initially, but mostly it's like having a roommate! You come home to someone who loves you and cares to know how your day went. You talk, watch movies or TV series together, occasionally you have arguments but like any other healthy relationship you make up. It is surprising how quickly humans can get accustomed to having a company. You set few ground rules and respect other persons space. It's really not scary as you are made to believe.

Another very annoying thing I was implied was about my social life. You are being told that "Now you can't go out and party whenever you want" or something in those lines. Which kind of came out true because once you are married people don't call you to single parties! I really had tough time convincing people that I have no problem with meeting friends or having the same relationship with them as before. Few of my friends stopped calling me altogether and when I called back I was told "I didn't know what would be appropriate time to call now that..." (??). In fact, I had to persuade my husband to contact his friends to go for " boys night out" because they assume he won't go out anymore !

I won't say there are no changes what so ever. Yes, you have to be considerate towards other persons feelings. Sometimes, you may have to watch a movie you aren't die hard fan of or maybe eat something you wouldn't otherwise but it's nothing too dramatic.

I was always a wild one, had bit of a commitment phobia and still hate to be tied down. So I kept waiting for all those nightmares which I was warned against and they never turned up. What I realized was you change only as much as you want to. Yes, you may find people who have changed a lot after marriage but that's only because they choose to change.

Life still throws you problems every now and then and you still have to go through your mess. But you find comfort in knowing that someone is there to share it with you. Of course, you don't have to be married to feel that kind of love and you could have perfectly blissful life alone. But don't just assume that marriage is going to ruin your idea of perfect life.

Never let anyone fill you up with ideas about how a married life is going to be. Every person is unique and when two people get together they create something which is as unpredictable as possible. In lot of ways marriage is like life itself, full of surprises, ups and down, something you have to go through yourself to understand and hope that at the end of the day you will have more of happy memories than that of sad.

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